Friday, January 20, 2012

The Devil Went Down to Target

I'm a little all over the place today and attempting to write while watching a Bond movie...  Bear with me. 

Today I took both kids to Target in the pouring rain to get some party supplies for what WAS going to be my Mom's surprise birthday party.  Unfortunately a friend called and started talking about it (despite being told he was on speaker) when my Mom was in the room.  Surprise blown.  Moving on.  We were at Target to get a few things when what to my wandering eyes should appear??  A grown man with HORNS and a disc in each ear! 

I've spent the last half hour checking out Google images of horn implants.  This is a thing!!  Did you know this???  This man purposefully had horns implanted in his forehead to make him look like the devil.  In itself, a little freaky.  Add to this a bull nose ring, face tattoo and 3-inch ear discs!  Here we are in the wrapping supply aisle surrounded by Disney Princess gift bags, Sponge Bob wrapping paper and Devil Boy.  Yikes!  I danced around Emily to block her view (it's best not to have to explain what I don't understand myself) and tried to act completely nonchalant about the whole thing.  Looking back, I think it's funny that I was trying so hard to act like this was nothing out of the ordinary.  This kind of look is like a challenge to the general public.  I dare you not to judge me... Good luck.  Epic fail on my part!  I even considered how I might take pictures with my phone to send to my Mommy friends with captions such as, "Our new nanny!"

I actually find Portland's freak factor somewhat endearing.  I'm all for keeping Portland weird and I LOVE Portlandia.  What was disarming about this was that we weren't downtown or in some hip district where this kind of thing is expected.  I'm talking mid-day shopping in Suburbia.  Devil Boy shops at Target!  Who knew?? 

I was nursing Jacob tonight at bedtime -- my very last time nursing a baby -- and trying SO hard to focus and just be present for the whole thing so I could enjoy our special time together.  When I'm stressed out, my mind wanders.  A lot.  I started party planning in my head.  Stop that.  Then it was my to-do list for the evening.  Look at Jacob!  Suddenly I was replaying my encounter with Devil Boy and thinking there is no way in Hell (oh, the irony) I would EVER let Jacob get horn implants!  Luckily, my tendency to become distracted is on par with my procrastination habit.  This morning was supposed to be the last time I nursed Jacob.  The nurse came to make sure I remembered how to do my own injections, but I forgot to leave the syringe out to bring it to room temperature first.  May as well wait until bedtime.  But, really...  What's one more day?  So, now TOMORROW will be my very last time nursing a baby (promise).  It has to be...  It's a M W F shot with a required 48 hours between doses. 

The beauty of this is that I get another chance to remain focused during my last time nursing.  I will not think about the party.  Or Devil Boy.  I will focus on one thing at a time.  By the way, I love Judi Dench.  This whole focus thing is harder than I thought...

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